


say it like you mean it (or he might just run away)

by fleurami



Category: Future Card Buddyfight
Genre: Fluff, M/M, enjoy, kanata being a dipshit, this is just cheesy nd gay so have fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 07:18:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14910852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fleurami/pseuds/fleurami
Summary: the two times kanata accidentally let it slip that he loves gaito, and the one time he says it and makes it count.





	say it like you mean it (or he might just run away)

            The first time I said it, I hadn’t really meant to let it slip out, you know?

            Gaito was there with me and we were watching a scary movie of some kind, I can’t really remember the title but it was a slightly older paranormal movie with some ghosts that jumped out several times throughout the movie.

            He had been sitting on the couch near me, our legs just barely touching now and then with a blanket shared between us. I had my arms slung over the back of the couch with my legs propped up and he was curled up in a ball next to me, and at the moment all I could do was sneak glances at him because he looked way too  _ adorable. _

            I must have missed the jumpscare, because one second I was looking down at his small form, and the next he was gasping and had suddenly scooched towards me, one hand grabbing my shirt.

            I mean, he was basically curled up into my side and shaking. So of course, dumbass I am, I pointed out the obvious.

            “You’re scared of horror movies?” He had given me a look that was absolutely betraying the fact that I had got it completely right.

            “No…” He had drawn the word out, obviously lying.

            And it was the cutest thing I had ever witnessed. His hair was ruffled, he was curled up like a kitten  _ almost on my lap,  _ and he was trembling a bit. His body had been so close I felt the warmth radiating from him, and it was so comforting.

            I had been just so overwhelmed with adoration and fondness for the boy next to me, I started giggling. When Gaito had started pouting up at me, it only added to the cuteness, so naturally I started giggling more.

            “Shut up!” I had tried sticking my fist in my mouth to stop, but it only made it worse.

            “Stop it!” Gaito had tried yelling at me, but his lips were tugging upwards too, and I didn’t think he could get any cuter until…

            “Your laugh’s contagious, shut up.” At that, he barely finished his sentence before  _ he  _ started giggling too. I could have listened to it for hours, his laugh was soft and low, it tumbled out of his mouth so adorably.

            So, of course, I spoke my mind.

            “I love you so much.” 

            I hadn’t  _ meant  _ to say it then, but there we were, the words sitting in the air. Neither of us were giggling, and Gaito had his face hidden so I hadn’t been able to see his expression. 

            That’s how it went for the rest of that night, we both settled into silence as we finished the movie and went to bed. 

 

            The second time I said it, I hadn’t been thinking, but when did I ever?

            He had called me while he was out buying groceries, asking me what kind of tea I usually kept around my house. I guess he liked it enough that he wanted some more around the house, so I checked the tin and read the name off to him.

            “Thank you very much, I’ll be back within an hour, please take care.” Even over the phone, his voice sounded soft and gentle, as it did sometimes. At that moment, I wanted him to be next to me, with me.

            “Alright! Take care, love you!”  _ Yikes.  _

            I had ended the call immediately after, my hand slapped over my mouth. I shouldn’t have been so embarrassed, it just slipped out naturally because that’s just how you end phone calls with a people you-  _ oh. _

            People you love, I guess.

            It was then that I realized how my feelings had shifted. They had gone from the fondness of platonic feelings towards a close friend to the crushing adoration of romantic feelings.

            I had wanted Gaito there because I wanted to hold him and feel him close to me.

 

            So that’s how it ended up here, with two accidental slip-ups with the “L” word. I wasn’t feeling disheartened, though, I was determined.

            The next time I said it, it wasn’t going to be an accident, I was going to tell him with purpose.

_             Way easier said than done. _

            We were sitting on the floor, homework sprawled out between us. I was supposed to be studying for a math test coming up… but how could I focus with such a beautiful boy sitting next to me?

            I was sneaking glances over the textbook occasionally, catching short fond looks every now and then. He just looked so… Pretty. I can’t describe it any other way. His big, round eyes were trained on the page in front of him and he had a pencil resting against his lower lip. 

            Honestly, I wanted to reach over and replace the pencil with my own lips, but I don’t think he’d react well to that. 

            I  _ have  _ to do something about this. Sighing, I set the textbook down, causing Gaito to shift his focus to me.  _ What would be a good setting for this? _

            “Hm, do you wanna take a break? I kinda wanna take a walk, get some fresh air.” He nodded at me, his adorable mountain of hair bobbing slightly.

            We abandoned the papers and books on the ground and popped into the bedroom to let Athora and Abygale know where we were going and headed out the door.  I was shaking the entire time, my hands were trembling and I was scared to say more than a few words in case my voice betrayed my anxiety. 

            It wasn’t so much that I was scared of him not feeling the same, because I could handle staying his friend after this.

            However… Gaito might reject the idea of being loved altogether. He’s always been the kind to run away from affection, but I don’t want him to leave me because he doesn’t think he’s worthy.

            I don’t wanna assume anything, but being around him and observing him while we’ve been friends, I feel like it’s a really viable outcome.

            I guess all I have to do is bite the bullet, tell him, and hope for the best. No reason to beat around the bush any longer.

            I snuck a peek over at him, he was looking up towards the branches of the trees as we walked, his gaze unfocused and his arms swinging gently at his sides. For the third time that day, I just admired how cute he looked. 

            “Hey, Gaito, I have something to talk about.” I aimed my tone to sound nonchalant, but I’m not sure if it ended up that way. He froze, turning his face from the sky towards me.

            “What is it?” His tone was curious, he didn’t sound too scared, which was a good enough sign. 

            Breathe in, breathe out. 

            It’ll be okay, I think he’ll understand, I just have to be… a little more eloquent than normal. Maybe a bit more delicate, Gaito tells me I’m too blunt sometimes.

            “Well, to start off with, I don’t want you to immediately panic, okay? Like, if you could just hear me out for a while.”  _ Oof _ , maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say, Gaito looked absolutely terrified. I immediately shot a hand out in front of me. “It’s not anything bad! I just…” I let my words trail off.  _ I’m really not good with his kind of stuff, huh. _

            My mind was drawing a blank. I couldn’t even begin to figure out how to say everything I wanted to without scaring him off. I stared down at my hands, following the lines on them and breathing deeply, desperately searching my head for the right words. 

            Another hand intruded my line of vision to rest on mine. My brain malfunctioned for a second, trying to process what was before me. Finally, after a long second of just staring, I moved my eyes up to Gaito. He actually had a small smile on his face, and it seemed to warm and inviting to me.

            “It’s alright Kanata, take your time.” The words immediately brought so much comfort to me.

            Of course I could do this, I could do anything with him by my side.

            Another steadying breath, and I could go. Maybe I could start with… 

            “Gaito, you’re one of my closest friends.” His hand went rigid in my palm, and for a second I wanted to grip it tighter,  _ please understand me.  _ “I always want you to be there with me, because I feel so happy when I’m with you.” I paused, letting another deep breath escape my lips. His hand had relaxed in mine somewhat and his expression seemed focused. “I’ve been trying to, I guess express how I feel for a while now, but I guess I’ve only just realized it recently, but that’s besides the point.” I wave my free hand and shake my head. He seems to be looking more and more confused as I go along,  _ but at least he isn’t running.  _ “Anyways, I just want you to know that, uh. Wow, what was the whole point of this…” I muttered the last part more to myself, and when I catch Gaito’s face he looks straight-up worried. 

            I guess I would too, this isn’t really going like I wanted to, I pretty much forgot the whole point of bringing him out here.

            Oh,  _ duh _ . The “love” thing.

            “I’m sorry, Gaito. This isn’t really going how I wanted.” I let out an extremely shaky laugh as I said this. 

            “You’re okay, just… Go ahead and say what you wanted to. I promise you, I’ll listen.” I wonder if he’s starting to realize what all of this is about. 

            Who am I kidding, of course he does. I’m not being that subtle about it, am I? I look back down at his hand in mine, and it’s then that the hope builds up inside me a little bit. 

_             What if? _

            He gives my hand a squeeze, and that’s the motivation I need to continue.

            “I love you.” My eyes meet his, and all I can do is stare into them and grip onto his hand, it’s the only thing keeping me grounded while I wait for his response. His face initially betrays nothing, because of course it does.

            But then, I think it hits him. 

            “I- Kanata…” He turns his head to the side, and his other free hand moves to fidget with the hem of his shirt.

            “I just mean that, in the way that… Not as a friend. You know, like I l-”

            “I know what you mean by that, doofus.” Gaito lets out a chuckle, and it’s enough to break the tension. I start laughing with him too, and it’s soft and  _ happy.  _

            And he’s still here, at my side. I said it, and he didn’t run.

            “Thank you, Gaito, for… dealing with me, I guess?” I say this as I bring my free hand to rub the back of my neck. 

            “It’s really fine, it’s not that I deal with you- ah, well. I guess you do exhaust me sometimes.” He gives me a teasing smile and I laugh at him, my heart almost feels like it’s going to burst from fondness. “I mean, I guess I do care about you too. A lot, actually.” 

            Everything stops for a second. He’s looking to the side again, this time his hand is brought up to cover his face, and I can almost see the tinge of pink on the top of his cheeks.

_             Does that mean he…? Also? _

            Could that be his way of saying it back?  _ Wow, there’s a lot to unpack here.  _ I open my mouth to ask him more directly what he means, but I get cut off.

            “Kanata! Your mom is calling you both back for dinner!” Athora is bounding towards us as he shouts this, and he stops several feet away. “Come on, you better get back fast.” He nods his head in the direction of the house before turning to walk back.

            “I guess-”

            “Let’s talk about this another time?” I’m shocked by Gaito’s suggestion. I can only hope this implies that  _ he  _ has more to say about it.

            I nod at him and smile. Grabbing his hand even tighter, I pull him back to the house. He walks alongside me, not letting go of my hand.

            He pulls himself closer to my side as we walk, and I pray that he chooses to stay there for a while.


End file.
